


Placeholder

by Ceciliedr



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Batbrothers (DCU), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Protective Jason Todd, Tim Drake Needs a Hug, Tim Drake is Robin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27647669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ceciliedr/pseuds/Ceciliedr
Summary: Tim is having the worst day. Comfort ends up coming from the place he least expected it.Or another take on Jason and Tim's first meeting.
Relationships: Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Comments: 37
Kudos: 639
Collections: Red Hood vs Red Robin





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**Author's Note:**

> The more I learn about batman canon the less I like it. Think I'm just going to stick to fanfiction.

Tim curls in on himself further, tightening his grip on his shins. Colors explode behind his eyelids as he presses them into his knees. To all he sees are greys, reds, yellows, and blues blinking and swirling in the darkness.

So much better than the alternative.

The pressure is building behind his eyes too, the urge to cry overwhelming. But the tears refuse to come. Like he used up his quota for the month. Face still sticky, spots of wetness leftover from his earlier sobbing.

He can’t even get that right.

He’s a failure, such a fucking failure. Drakes are supposed to be better than that. Supposed to be perfect. The elite of the elite.

A whimper escapes the vice around his chest. Broken sounds working their way out of his throat.

Tim just wants to disappear. To stop seeing blood every time he closes his eyes. The stark white of bone sticking out from mangled flesh.

It wasn’t real.

Tim tries to curl in tighter. The pressure of his legs against his chest making it harder to breathe. It doesn’t help. Everything is muted by the cold numbness that has taken over his bones. His torso hollowed out. Only flashes of pain getting through, but even that is dulled.

Maybe he should have listened to Bruce when the man ordered him out of Gotham. Gone to stay with the Teen Titans…

But the city needed him- except he failed. He let that family tear each other to shreds. To caught up in his own nightmare to help.

“I’m so sorry Jason.” The words leave him in something between a whine and a whisper. Broken even to his own ears.

He failed. He let down his predecessor and tarnished the Robin name. Jason had nearly every bone broken by the Joker and kept fighting. Tim couldn’t even handle a little fear toxin without being useless.

“What are you sorry for Replacement?”

Tim snaps his head up with a whimper. He took the antidote hours ago, the hallucinations were supposed to stop! Yet here Jason is again.

He’s standing next to Tim’s bed, looming over him. Eyes seeming to glow a faint green in the darkness of Tim’s bedroom.

He’s older. Tattered Robin uniform replaced with dark body armor. No blood. No protruding bones. Maybe what could have been? Because that is unmistakably the face of Jason Todd.

“Going to fucking answer me?”

Tim resists the urge to rebury his head, words leaving him in a whisper.

“I screwed up.”

“No shit.” Cold. Uncompromising.

“I failed.” Tim tightens his grip until the complaints of his sore body overshadow the pain in his chest.

“Failed at what exactly?”

Tim whimpers, because the hallucination is going to make him spell it out. He should ignore it, Tim knows that. But even as a figment of his imagination it’s still Jason and Tim just can’t.

“I was supposed to help make things better, instead I made everything worse.” Some of the pressure finally dissipates as the tears break free. Running down over his nose and left cheek since he’s still laying on his side.

Jason crouches down in front of him, putting them at eye level. His seem less green than before. There is a strike of white in his otherwise black hair.

“Make what better?” His voice -tone not gentle, but less angry than before- seems to pry the words out of Tim’s chest and suddenly he can’t stop the flow of them.

“Everything. Gotham. Bruce. He nearly tore everything apart after losing you. It got worse and worse and he-” Tim’s voice breaks, fresh tears escaping his eyes. “He didn’t want to live anymore. Nobody else noticed, but I could see it. He was increasingly violent and reckless. He didn’t care about coming home at the end of the night. I had to help him!”

Tim chokes on a sob and still, he can’t stop babbling.

“Gotham _ needs _ Batman and Batman needs a Robin. I tried to make Dick go back, but he wouldn’t…” He trails off, rubbing furiously at his swollen eyes. Hating how wobbling his voice is. Hallucination Jason is just crouching there, face a mask he can’t read. Tim’s next words are little more than a whisper.

“I made myself Robin. Forced Bruce to take me on until he could find someone better. But I failed. I can’t even be a placeholder without tarnishing your memory.”

Tim closes his eyes, exhaustion dragging him down. Every limp filled with lead. But he doesn’t want to sleep. The nightmares can be even worse than the hallucinations. Even though this last one isn’t so bad.

Sensing movement, he forces his eyes back open. Only to have his duvet pulled up to his chin. A soft and comforting weight. So nice against his bare arms. Tim squints up at Jason, who’s eyes have stopped glowing. Looking more like the blue he is familiar with.

“Go to sleep kid.” This time the tone is gentle. Gloved fingers cart through his hair and Tim can’t help but lean into the touch.

“Nightmares.” He mumbles. Because even if this is already a dream, Dick is the only other person to ever touch him like that and Tim doesn’t want to lose the contact.

Silence fills the room, but the hand stays and slowly the tension bleeds out of him. It’s a fight to keep his eyes open.

“I will keep watch.”

The bed dips beside him and Tim curls into the warmth before he can stop himself. His breath hitches when the fingers falter, only to settle down again when they continue. Another hand lands on his shoulder, thumb rubbing circles into his muscle. Hallucinations should not have such a nice and grounding grip. Tim hardly cares.

Sleep is tugging at him and despite never wanting to leave this moment, he is beyond fighting it.

“You were always my hero.” This time he doesn’t notice the hands faltering. Gone as the last muttered syllable leaves his lips.

* * *

Jason looks at the kid curled around his hip and tries to push away the shame burning in his chest. Without the green haze of the pit, he can’t believe what he was about to do.

Can hardly recognize himself.

Red Hood declared kids off-limits and is more than willing to cement that rule in blood. Yet he was willing to beat a 14-year-old within an inch of his life for wearing his old colors.

Nausea is constricting his throat. The pit is twisting everything more than he ever dreamed it could do. He will have to watch his own thought closely until he finds a way to deal with it.

Jason continues the repetitive motion through the kid’s black strands. He has to be gone before the kid wakes up or his plans will be ruined. But he also has vivid memories of his own nightmares after a run-in with Crane.

The kid is alone in this mausoleum of a house. Jason found his parent’s travel records when he dug into the new Robin. The implication of those only now hitting him.

Bloody fucking _ damnit. _ He needs to get rid of the pit influence pronto.

The kid called him a hero, his hero. Batman never learned his lesson about kids and masks. But Jason had it beat into his bones.

No matter what it takes, nobody is clipping the wings of this babybird. Jason is going to make sure of it.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a mess at the moment, sorry Timbo didn't mean to take it out on you. At least the ending is nice.


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